(Pride is forever) turn off the lights & turn off the shyness 'cause all of our moves make up for the silence ♥ [03 Jan 2006|08:06am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | n'sync // something like you ] wow. it's 8:06 in the morning and i'm supposed to be at school but we had a snow day righht after vacation. how amazingly sweet is that? ahhh good stuff. i wish i could fall back asleep but on the count of , i can't .. i'm writing in here. hmm, so wayy too much happened over vacation for me to even begin to describe it. in simplest terms --»» it was incredible. ilovemyfriendsmorethanlife. well, i smell pancakes sooo i'm going upstairs for breakfast .. update later <3 peaceee _ nicky ;; xox "so brown eyes i'll hold you near 'cause you're the only song i want to hear - a melody softly soaring through my atmosphere" --»» the postal service <3 JOHN <3 [january].01.[2thousand6]

(Pride is forever) she hasnt looked at another boy the same - not since she met him at least ♥ [29 Dec 2005|08:31pm] [ mood | cant wait for tmrw <3 ] [ music | some puertorican rap that tony got me into lmao <3 ] omg .. so far .. vacation has been absolutly incredible. i cant even begin to explain all the fun i've had , lol. so tonite basically i went to christie's. haha we literally sat there for about an hour just talking and laughing on her bathroom floor with our beers .. about everything and anything. later on .. amber came and we got ready. so we stumbled down to subway lol and got our food.. fucked with scott and blacky mcblackster and waited for our taxi. it was seriously the third time we've take a cab all vacation. who's cooler than us? then we went to tony's house with win and casey. i actually don't think i've ever had more fun. i seriously love those boys <3 so i just got home and i cant wait 'till tomarrow 'cause we're all hanging out again and to make it even better JOHN COMES HOME FROM COLUMBIA TOMARROW<3333 ahhh i can't even begin to explain how excited i am!! wow i missed him a lot. well im on the fone with amber and christie now so i'll probably update tmrw if given the chance. new years is coming up .. can't wait. peace _ xox and i think im just too scared to admit it --»» so instead i pick apart your flaws ___ ;; when really // i couldn't ask for anything better <3 ` iLy xox _ nicky <3 .. ;o]

(Pride is forever) he's the kind of boy - brown eyes were made for ♥ [27 Dec 2005|03:32pm] [ mood | enthralled ] [ music | mary J. blige // can't be without you ] haha it's been exactly 10 days since my last update. weeeirrd. uhm wayy too much has happened. lol i love my life. but to sum it all up christmas was incredible & vacation just started and its been amazing. ive been so busy lately so i doubt they'll be much updating this week. cant wait 'till new years. && only 3 more days 'till john comes home <3 -- Nicky <3

(Pride is forever) it's the possibility that keeps us going - not the guarentee ♥ [17 Dec 2005|08:32pm] [ mood | i've got myself a little crush ] [ music | casper soundtrack // remember me this way <3 ] ok soo i just got home like 2 minutes ago. aha tonight was "jhgdfjksdkfvj fgwuytfg jfgjh,sd" .. it was that good that i had to make up a word for it. haha. soo cookie day with the family was pretty fun .. surprisingly. i love my family so much<3 and i guess my mom decided not to bee such a dueschbag and actually let me off groundation!! ahhh .. how amazing is that?? so yeah then i went to christie's with amber and christine and we got a little tipsy lol and chilled there for a while. soo after that brendan, jeremy, and randy came to pick us all up and brought us to aj's. omg there was soo many people at aj's. sooo basically me, christie, christine, amber, jeremy, randy, brendan, sam, gastone, joe, jackie, christy, heather, sam, leon, matt and john <3 were there. we left after a while to go meet casey and win at foran but that didn't end up happening. so we just went back to christines. so it was me christie, christine, amber .. and john<3 at christines. needless to say .. i had a little bit of fun there ;o] a lot of shit went down tonight i just dont feel like typing it .. but all in all .. it was another amazing night with my friends. i'm really sad though .. because john is leaving for columbia on thursday and wont be back for like a week. hopefully he'll be back in time for the big new years blowout. but im going to bed .. i lovee you // goodnight <33 some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies <3 -- sex & the city _ nicky <3 xox

(Pride is forever) [17 Dec 2005|05:01pm] [ mood | destroyed. ] [ music | micheal bolton // how am i supposed to live without you? ] oh my god - i'm a fucking mess today. i'm grounded so i can't go out .. which is actually going to make me go mentally unstable. i have cookie day with my family for hours on end today .. which is another knock to my sanity. and on top of it all - my hair isn't working the way i want it to. today sucks. december killed     the best of me     & i just called ..     and i just wrote   to say [goodbye]   'cause im afraid ,     when the snow   clears , there wont   be much left of me.     december killed  the best of me. xox _ .. nicky <3

(Pride is forever) ..as you left & said your good-byes, you forgot to tell my heart how to live without you ♥ [13 Dec 2005|05:40pm] [ mood | thirsty ] [ music | backstreet boys // get another boyfriend<3 ] first of all .. my journal picture somehow got deleted so it looks fucking ridiculous .. if anyone knows how to change LJ backgrounds pleaseeee inform me. alright, now onto my day, lol, which was actually quite eventful. soo and overveiw of my morning was pretty sweet. 1st period spanish was worthless .. no change there. second period with mr. noyes was a awesome. we talked about the bloods & the crips and of course the foran high school book fair. GOOD STUFF. 3rd period gym was actually amazing - thanks in large part to my wonderful gym buddy sara benjuanes <3 we played volleyball and i owned everyone. i skinned my knees up pretty bad for all the diving and shit i did .. i kept forgetting that i didnt have knee pads on .. it sucked. sara was probably the most RIDICULOUS sight ive ever seen when she goes to hit the ball .. i probably shat myself like 12 times from laughing so hard. lmao ahhh im actually laughing out loud right now thinking about it. for a little treat i even did my awesome harlem shake for her [iNSERT SARCASTiC FACE] and she did some "south american call of the rain god dance" [iNSERT SCARED OUT OF MiND FACE] hahah it was priceless. 4th period bio was gay .. but i doodled in my notebook all class so it went by pretty fast. and then the tragedy struck. i was walking down blue hall .. minding my own buisness , when i stop at my locker , as i do everyday, to get my photo stuff. so i open my locker and eric shuts it. then i open my locker again .. and once more eric shuts it. on my third attempt of opening my locker and then having him shut it .. i was getting pretty frustrated. so, i turn the lock for the 4th time and quickly try to put my hands in to get my stuff and go to class because i value my education and didnt want to be late .. when he kicks the locker door closed and MY FiNGER GETS SHUT iN iT! yeahhh, that's right. pretty much eric fucking goncalves sucks. so it swelled up and what not .. it was actually kind of gross. so i went to the nurse and shawn carried all my things .. including my purse ;o] and walked me down there to make sure i was alright .. i seriously am in love with him. he is probably the greatest most genuine person i've ever met and i don't know what i would do without him. plus the fact that he tells me im gorgeous everyday does't hurt ;o] lmao. so anyway the nurse is crazy and thought that i needed to go home and see a doctor and get x-ray's done and what not. lmao so i did and everything is fine. no worries --»» except eric owes me his life. ironically, today he got transferred into my photo class. blah .. this should be an adventure. so anyways after i got my x-rays and whatever i came home and slept for a good 3 hours. it was pretty sweet. instead of going to the basketball game to watch my danielleybelly and christineyweeney play [which by the way i heard was amazing and im verrrrrrry proud of both of them<3] i then had to go teach 4th grade ccd class again. it was actually kind of funny. i'm seriously not teh best person to be teaching this class i must admit .. i was like asking the kids if they were "boobie-men" or "ass-men". RESULTS - [3] boob // [1] ass. haha fun stuff, but i still hate it lmao. but right nowww i must go because JOHN <3 is calling. peacee .. xox it's so hard to say, how a love could end this way. the one that used to care for you just turned an walked away. and it's so hard to find a way to leave the pain behind. when all the things you're looking for , your heart cant seem to find. -- nicky <3 p.s // i love amber rae gates.

(Pride is forever) you were the last good thing about this part of town ♥ [12 Dec 2005|09:23pm] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | tyrese // sweet lady ] today was worthless , lol. i was in soo much pain for no reason and it actually sucked like whoa. the weekend doesn't come fast enough. i'm oober excited though because i heard my mommy talking and she most deff. bought me a digital camera for christmas <33 blah ;; i'm so bored so i might as well post some quotes because i'm a weiner & that's what i do. OO1 :: && i guess the fell for e a c h  - o t h e r . . like they knew they always would. OO2 :: there's something about the look in your eyes // something i noticed when   the  light   was         [ JUST RiGHT ] it reminded me twice that i was alive - - »» and it reminded me that    you are so worth the fight OO3:: so we're talking forever and you almost feel better    but that's no excuse         for tonight. you see, it's never bad , enough to leave or give up but it's never good enough to feel right. --        _TBS OO4:: since we're both being brutally honest here..          you we're the stupidest mistake             i ever had    the pleasure of making  OO5:: it's just that, i found a certain comfort in you that i found no where else. a certain laugh that i never had before, and a certain joy in my life that i could never even try to explain. i miss that && to be honest .. i miss you. i miss every single part of you. the part where you'd make fun of me , but then say "i'm just kidding , i love you", and all your crazy stories about the crazy things you tried to do , and the smile you'd give me every single time you'd see me. ever since we said our good-byes .. i want a little more of you .. every second of every day .. but your gone. and there's no sign of you ever coming back. OO6:: If ever there is a tomarrow when we're not together .. there is something you must always remember. you are BRAVER than you believe ; STRONGER that you seem ; and SMARTER than you think .. but the most important thing is , even if we're apart .. i'll always be with you. _ winnie the pooh<3 OO7:: i'm making myself so nervous trying to be so perfect because i know you're worth it YOU'RE WORTH iT. OO8::      - don't be shy.   let's cause a scene like all [over dramatic]          lovers do. lights_ ;; camera ;; HEARTBREAK. -- nicky _ xox <3

(Pride is forever) im making a list of things i never show --»» i love u, i miss u, and i never wanted u to go ♥ [11 Dec 2005|02:19pm] [ mood | weird ] [ music | brian mcknight feat. justin timberlake // my kind of girl ] yesterday was actually insane. me, amber, christine, and lindsay went to christies. joe, caitlin, and pat came over for a little while. it was probably the most annoying thing in the world to try and find  a ride but we did it. so after a million years , chris and danielle came to pick us all up and brought us to eric laue's house<3 uhm .. yes so it was oodles of fun there. too much to write about ;o] lol. so it was pretty sweet, it woudl have been even better if people didnt leave shit in christies fridge though. anywho - me & christie went back to her house and ate soup and made fun of people .. haha. i love her <3 so in general, i love my life , i love my friends .. and cheers to next weekend. im going to church now .. haha .. peacee _ xox DARLING ;; i would hate to ruin this, because we both know that it's almost flawless. but those beautiful nights [ dont   last   forever ] we'll be lucky if they last        _ untill tomarrow. -- nicky .. <3

(Pride is forever) u seemed so much happier with me, but maybe thats just the way i want it to be -- plain white T's [10 Dec 2005|06:22pm] [ mood | horny ] [ music | baby bash feat. akon // i'm back ] ahhh last night was incredible. haha i think i start off every weekend entry with "last night was .. [some form of amazing word]". ha, i love life. so anyways , yesterday i was supposed to go sledding but didnt 'cause i had to do driveways and i actually wanted to take my life. but thenn i went out to dinner at bennigans with sara, christine, amber, kaitlyn, danielle, ashley, gary, mike, dana, chris and steve. haha needless to say it was a good time , but then again it's always a good time with them. i was happy to see everyone 'cause i haven't seen most of the boys in like a week. and it deffinatly excited me to see ashley 'cause she's basically amazing. after dinner dana drove us to christie's. by the way .. dana actually has a snowman made in teh back of his pickup truck. PIMP? YES, INDEED. haha. anyways, me, amber, and christine went to christie's with sam. we hung out there and partied lol .. good stuff. then we went downtown & met up with joe, casey, dan and john<3 i actually think i fell like 12 times .. no lie. lol i tried to hop a fence and it didnt exactly work. and then christine hopped it and joe flipped her into the snow anyway. haha, bitch <3 haha it was actually oodles of fun and im seriously laughing out loud while writing this. we had to leave because the cops came and we weren't exactly being "legal" soo we left and i fell up a hill [ go figure? ]. after that, the girls were waiting for jerry to come pick us up and we were in the middle of the street for like an hour .. of doing nothing but laughing. it was amazing. so i ended up sleeping at christies and we ate doritos [hahahahah ce.sc.ag.cj<3] and no spoons were thrown at my head in the process. all in all, it was a good night and tonight is going to be even better. i love us. life is good. peacee .. xox       i wonder where you are. please, dont come around tonight   'cause i can't stand to see you      and i don't want to fight.         gimmie one more drink            and i swear i think               i'll be ready ..        to make the same mistake              with you again. -- nicky _ xox _ <3

(Pride is forever) you're my destruction;; and i couldn't love it more ♥ [09 Dec 2005|08:41pm] [ mood | i need to party. ] [ music | bow wow feat. jermaine dupri & j kwon // fresh azimiz ] hmm yes , so far today sucked .. but it will all be made up for tonight .. i hope i hope <3 i was supposed to go sledding with my little gang of hoodlums lol but i couldnt because i was too busy shoveling everyone in my entire neighborhoods driveways. i'm sore, angry, and ONLY MADE 5 DOLLARS FOR iT ALL! how lame is that? blahh sooo gay. but anyways yesterday was awesome. i went to my sister's talent show at HARBORSiDE <3 this year harborsides talent show had to be a student / teacher act.  so i cant even begin to tell you how amazing it was to see all my teachers perform .. like mrs. fedigan dancing to grease, mrs. kessler singing to the YMCA & falloutboy & dancing, mrs. holmes acting, and oh yeah .. mr. bommels dressed up as a woman. haha it was incredible. and i cried because i was so proud of my little sister when she sang onstage with a song that she wrote herself and also wrote the sheet music. aww she was soo good. there was this kid raymond arnold [remember that name because he is gonna be famous] who actually made me laugh about a bazillion and 12 times. haha aww it was amazing. good times, good times. anyways, im going in the shower to get ready for tonight (( insert excited face =o] )) peacee .. xox TOBEY : that stupid fantasy where the guy who broke your heart suddenly realizes that he's made the biggest mistake of his life, and he finds you ;; wherever you are - and comes running up to you and says "i cant live without you, you are my entire exsistance and universe and if you don't take me back right now , i'll never love anyone again" , where does that fantasy come from? JEN : movies ; television ; that place in your heart where there is still hope. TOBEY :  hope. i wish there was something you could take for that. Some kind of pill that made you stop hoping for something that probably isn't even good for you to begin with. -- dawsons creek <3 OHHH P.S --»» Mike Gekas apparently likes to read my livejournal and gets overly excited when I mention him in it .. soo this portion of this entry is dedicated to him and how incredible he is. Gotta love Mikey G. .. nicky _ xox oh yeah, and i ACTUALLY love sara benJUANes. end of story.

(Pride is forever) & i'll gently kiss ur lips, touch u with my fingertips. so turn out the lights and close ur eyes & [03 Dec 2005|08:34pm] [ mood | drunk ] [ music | mike jones & ying yang twins // badd <3 ] so tonight was actually sooooooo much fun. me christine and amber went to the mall with sara kaitlyn danielle mike gary kyle dana and sexxy sexxy matt burns. we chilled there for a while and all the girls had secret santas. it was cuteee. after that me christine and amber went to lindsays house with christie ashley sam danielle and obviously lindsay. we hung out for a while .. got a lil crunkedd up and had sucha blasstttt. i was actually quite sad that john didnt come over cuz he didnt have a ride :o[ . aww. but then matt mike joe and dan came over and we hadd a good time. im so tired its draining to type but needless to say im bored now that im home and tonite was a GOOOOOD night<3 peace .. xox.    if you want me that bad   [ ..  show it .. ] & kiss me like you mean it. -- nicky <3 i love my fucking friends so god damn much! p.s - i have a crush ;o]

(Pride is forever) i wanna be the habit ~ that [really] makes you crave ♥ [29 Nov 2005|11:53am] [ mood | tired .. ] [ music | sick of being lonely // field mob ] danielle woke me up soo early but it didnt really matter because i stayed home from school today. for the past like week or so my voice has been shot & i've pretty much sounded like a dying animal. my throat hurts & my body aches & i had a fever. so finally my mom told me i had to stay home which actually excited me beyond description. i watched madagascar and i seriously am in love with that movie. i'm immature .. and i love it<3 after i slept for a bazillion hours my mom woke me up to go to kohls. seriously .. kohl's is like heaven on earth .. i nearly got an orgasm just walking in there. [ haha wow, im such a pervert<3 ] but im not kidding you it is actually AMAZiNG. my mother and i did some christmas shopping & then went out to lunch @ the diner. we stopped by nello's after to help put up the lights and move the piano. i love that place & the people in it soo incredibly much. nello made me probaly the best shirley temple of my life & then i was hit was bad news .. jessica is going back to school january 6th =o[ im gonna miss her like whoa. but she said she'll come back alot and def. take me out for my birthday so its really not that bad. i just got home and i wanna sleep again which is weird 'cause during teh week all i ever wanna do is sleep .. & on the weekends it's almost like i'm psychially not able to. ahh you've gotta love lifee<3 so i'm looking forward to geri & alex's sweet 16 this friday like nobody's buisness. amber gates »» we're animals <3 but yess it's going to be amazing .. happy birthday to you guys !! i loveee youuu <3 i'm gonna learn ever single word to the shaniqua song and sing to finch on friday to make her look bad showing that i learned it before she did .. but she has a dance soo i think im shit out of luck. haha i love us. uhum .. nap time before 4th grade ccd class from hell? i think so. peacee .. xox <3 let's slow dance & be the couple that everyone [ wishes ] they could be let's walk in the rain & hold hands the whole time let's look at the stars & kiss the night away <3 let's take it slow & then . s p e e d . i t . u p . let's take stupid pictures & laugh 'till we cant breathe -- »»  let's be friends   let's be lovers «« -- l e t 's  b e  t o g e t h e r ..     you & me. -- nicky <3

(Pride is forever) here's to the future // because i'm over the past ♥ [27 Nov 2005|06:39am] [ mood | loved ] [ music | cupids chokehold // gym class heros ] seriously .. last night was fucking incredible. first it took me like an hour to come pick up danielle because my father thought it was necessary to make chicken at the exact moment i was supposed to be at her house & on our way to christie's. but whatever ;; so like an hour later i get to danielles and we go to christies house and since theres two "45's" where she lives we .. of course, knocked on the wrong door & felt like morons. once we finally got to christies .. we partied. it was amazing .. like it seriously was so much fun . i love you girls --»» AG.SB.CJ.LE.CE.DL.CS.SF <3 then we had to wait for rides to come get us & bring us to tony's. after a very eventful car ride [which i will not speak about .. lol] we finally got to tony's. it literally took us like half an hour to find his house since that rich bastard lives on lexington green. lol. uhum .. to sum up the evening in one word would have to be ... supercalifragilisticespeealidocious. haha , im kidding .. but it was amazing. everyone had such a good time.. lol .. i , in particular know for damn sure i did ;o] godd, i love life. hahah. i wish sara could have been there. danielle left early with chris .. and yes, im pretty sure her night was amazing also. amber was a dancing fool .. and i must say when she was dancing on me .. i dont think ive ever wished to be a man more. hahaha. christine was a fucking animal , as she is all the time. ahh i love you guyss <3 so basically, tony fernandez better have another party, or i think i'll kill him. ha, ilu tony<3 so yes.. cheers to a spectacular night. this morning i went to church [ha, go figure?] .. and the highlight of my life happened. so i'm sitting behind this adorable baby and all of a sudden she ghot really excited & liek hit her dad and started liek sucking on his nose .. oman it was so cute. THEN, she made a whole bunch of gurgling noises and said her first word .. "BALD" .. her parents starting flipping out & getting all excited because their baby said her first words. p.s - her dad is bald. lmao i dont think ive ever laughed harder. so basically, it made my entire exsistance. well i have to go get ready for my aunts house today .. exciting, i know. peace .. xox <3 you're the brightest star ;; in a pocketful of skies .. my __ colored __ picture in a world of black & white as you walked into the room i k i s s e d m y h e a r t           g o o d b y e         -- nicky <3

(Pride is forever) "holding you in my arms, seemed more natural than my own heartbeat" -- the notebook [26 Nov 2005|04:24pm] [ mood | impressed ] [ music | merry christmas , happy holidays // n'sync<3 ] alrighty, so last night actually turned out to be one of the most amazing experiences of my entire exsistance. me, my mother & her friend & her son all drove up to mohegans to see the transsiberian orchestra. now .. when i first found out that i was going [or actually that i was forced to go] i must admit i was not too thrilled. trans-siberian? come on now, whats the first thing you think of? exactly .. transvestites from siberia. so it didnt exactly overwhelm me with glee. the car ride up there was hell because there was soo much traffic and i cant stand sitting in the same place for long. so basically i wanted to take my life. then we got to mohegan which has to be one of the greatest places on earth. i seriously love it. after we finally got into the arena the show started. i was soo surprised because it wasnt an orchestra like i pictured it.. it was electric guitars , the most kick-ass drumset my eyes have ever seen, lasers, backup dancers, and the light show .. omfg .. soooooo sweet. the first half was christmas music and it actually made me cry. one of the guys in the orcheastra was a narrator and he told a story about an archangel who came to earth on christmas eve & found one man's prayer of having his daughter home for christmas. so they would tell a little bit of the story and then they would do a song that went along with it. omg it was sooooo good.  me and my mom cried because were gay like that <3 the second half was a compliation of their own music was was absolutly spectacular. and on top of that .. they were all HILARIOUS! during intermission they came out to talk to us and actually made me laugh 'till my stomach hurt. there was so much energy in the show, i really couldnt take my eyes off the stage. omg it was well worth it. plus,  i think  i had to of seen the most gorgeous man on the face of the planet who was a guitarist in the orchestra .. i kid you not , he had long  silky black hair and dark brown eyes and he had to have been some sort of actor or model because he was just too beautiful not to be famous. but yeah, so im soo happy that i went last night & i really want to go again when they come to CT , December 17th. well im going to put up my christmass tree & decorations .. OMAN I LOVE THIS SEASON!! .. update later ..? its possible. peace .. xox <3 fate determines who walks into your life. you decide who you let leave ; who you let stay » and who you refuse to let go. -- nicky <3

(Pride is forever) he's the kind of boy who makes you love your name ;; just because of the way he says it <3 [25 Nov 2005|03:11am] [ mood | thankful .. go figure? <3 ] [ music | shaniqua // little T and one track mike <3 haha iLU FiNCH!! ] first and foremost , i hope everyone had an amazing thanksgiving .. i know i certainly did. ooh man i'm in such a good mood<3 soo today started off with me going to the thanksgiving day game with everyone and i pretty much got hypothermia. so me, being the punkass that i am .. i left during halftime because i couldnt take the cold .. maybe i should of been more prepared & not wear a sweatshirt & flops. hmmm. soo anyways .. i went home & showerd and then went to my uncle ricky's house. he's really sick with lukemia but he seems to be getting better .. and he looked a lot better too. his spirits were high which was probably the highlight of my day. we stayed there for a little while and i nearly had an anerism from laughing so hard because he's such an asshole, lmao. after that we drove to shelton to pick up my cousin georgie, who i havent seen in a couple months so i missed him like crazy. he just got a new apartment and definatly takes after the Unwins on the count of .. he sucks ass at directions. so we pretty much drove around shelton for a good 45 minutes before my stupis mother decided to call for directions. haha. then we went to orange to my aunty linda's house. my whole full blood italian family was there so you know it was most definatly a good time. we ate, and gave thanks, and loved each other .. untill uno, that is. honestly.. uno has to be the most intense, brutal, violent game in the world .. especially with my family. so it's $5.00 to get in the game and play, right? the game lasted 2 and a half hours and in the midst of that .. my mother threw a chair at my aunt, my cousin jimmy chucked a fork at my head, i threw cake on my cousin paul, more curse words [some which i never knew exsisted] were thrown around like no1's buisness ..and in the end .. who came out victorious? THAAAAAAAATTTTSSS RIIGGGHHTTT!!!! it was me. i'm not kidding you, i will own your life at uno .. so never decide to play with me because you will lose, and you will lose shamefully. so i ended up leaving my aunts house with $65.00 .. ahaaa not bad, eh? besides that, i dont think ive ever laughed so hard in my life .. my family has to be the funniest most sarcastic people out there and i love them soo much. but that's what thanksgiving is all about right? well, i must say.. i am pretty thankful. anyways .. i have cherry coke all over me because of my darling little sister so im gonna go shower .. i loveee youuu <3 peacee .. xox [ O N E  -  W O R D ] thats  all  you  said   .. & .. s o m e t h i n g in your voice _ caused me to turn my head,   your smile just captured me.           --»» kenny chesney <3 -- nicky <3

(1Pain is temorary Pride is forever) thrill me with your [charm] take me in your [arms] && make my life [perfection] --»» marilyn monroe [20 Nov 2005|02:33pm] [ mood | peaceful ] [ music | chris brown run it - haha joe put me in the mood for it<3 ] so yeah my weekend was alright .. from what i remember .. ;o] haha. friday night me, amber, christine, danielle & sara met up with everyone at FYI [in west haven i believe] for a show. now usually i get soo excited becauseei love going to shows and i was even more super excited because mike & gary's band [THE RECOVERY ROOM] was playing .. and basically .. they rock my world. so we get there for some fucking weird ass girls sweet 16 party and can i just say that i hated seriously everyone there except my group of friends. granted i dont even know any of those ppl .. i just hated them. they were soo obnoxious and there was moshing EVERYWHERE .. so eventually i got pissed and started hitting ppl. im not kidding. i actually almost beat the shit out of this one guy. yeah i was that angry. other then that it was pretty sweet. especially when danielle told me she was hungry .. so me, being the fantabulous friend that i am .. went and got her a cupcake.. and you know what that little dueschbag did .. yeah she took it and most deffinatly smushed it onto my face. and then she ran cause she was scared. hahah .. but its okay because i chased her outside and shoved a big chocolate cupcake onto her face while everyone was screaming "make her eat it!!" ahahaha wow i loved it like whoa. i actually saw my first heronie addict ever. it was kind of sad ;; but still extremely gross @ the same time. so yeah i lost my voice from screaming soo loud and it didnt come back 'till saturday night. actually saturday night was quite eventful. lol, actually more so for danielle then for me. soo i went to see harry potter and the goblet of fire yesterday and OMFG IT WAS THE MOST AMAZING MOVIE MY EYES HAVE EVER HAD THE PRIVILAGE OF VIEWING!  i laughed, i cried, i masterbated .. it was incredible. i seriously loved it soo much its my new favorite movie. but yeah afterwords me christine and amber went to meet aj & leon @ getty gas station. faggotface was suposta have ppl over but ended up not ebing able to because his parents came home. so steve & ashley picked us up and we went to pilot and met up with chris, danielle and dana. we chilled there for a little while. and then we drove around and stopped at numorous places and yeahh it was a good time. then the real fun happened. while we were at pilot chris' ex-fling "satan?" shows up. so we leave, and we go to woodmont beach. 10 minutes later .. she pulls in with her friend. cool, rite? thenn chris weaves in and out of various streets trying to lose them and we end up @ adams and astonishingly , so do they. so steve has the aboslute hottest car chase with them i've ever seen. i must admit i splooged myself a little. yeah so basicallty most of the night was trying to avoid chris's ex. it was so much funn though. after we dopped amber off me chris danielle ashley and steve drove to east haven to get some goods & what not. haha fun times<3 once we got back to milford .. i sat in the car with danielle and chris for seriously like 2 hours .. which seemed equivilant to eternity. well to be accurate .. i laye dthere with danielles ipod and a bag of cheetos .. and they .. well lets just say they were too busy doing other things .. that didnt involve cheetos. haha so basically i wanted to take my life? haha. then me and danielle slept @ aj's with leon. lol i lovee them. so yeah thats about as exciting as it got. except for the bazillion and 12 hours i spent raking leaves like a freaking slave. kind of cute. blah. well my awesome mamma jamma bought madagascar and since i've been waiting to see it for my entire life i think im goin to now .. peaceee .. xox. i know it seems like a million years ago that we dated    ..            but it wasn't. maybe you're over it. maybe it doesn't mean anything to you anymore .. maybe ,                 ..   it never did. but it meant alot to me. YOU mean a lot to me .. & you still do.                 _ THE O.C. -- nicky <3

(Pride is forever) hate is a four letter word - love is a four letter lie. [17 Nov 2005|06:07pm] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | bon jovi // livin' on a prayer <3 ] so today was another half day in school which means it was a pretty decent day. after school kaitlyn came to pick me up with sara, amber & danielle and we went to notre dame to hang out with thee boys. needless to say it was pretty exciting .. always a good time with them<3 we went to mcdonalds and shared nuggets lol. some scary black lady told me i was pretty which was the highlight of my day on teh count of danielle makes funn of me to no end. one of these days im going to jump off a cliff. its okay , i love her forhead =o]. hahah. we watched dana, ben, jay, and chris' practice for a little while and literally froze our nips off. as gary would say "your nips are actually off, and freezing." lol we had some pretty intense convo while we were watching the practice. oh yeah, and i humped danielle. after our adventure @ notre dame we all went back to gary's house for a little bit. i love his sister she's adorable. we looked at prom pictures and his guitars [anddd the one saraa got him <3] yeahhh i lovee life. i cant wait for the show tomarrow, im seriously soo excited .. and then saturday is harry potter. between all this madness , we are partying it up like no1's buisness. SWEET. yeah, i need a showerr .. peacee .. xox <3 sara : look at his hands. amber : he's wearing gloves. sara : no, he's not. hahaha - had to be one of the funniest moments in my life. thank you for being a moron, amber<3 i'm in a car underwater, with time to kill. thinking back - i forgot to tell you this. i didnt care that you left and abandoned me .. what hurts more ;; is i would still die for you. --»» nicky <3 ooh , it was so sweet .. where we could have been right now :o[ i love you so much.

(Pride is forever) i'm a bad mutha "F" word .. [16 Nov 2005|09:08pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | dane cook <33 ] yeahh so the past couple days in school have been pretty worthless lol. half days are amazing. i had a text message war with william today - he's a fool. but he's soo cute .. lol. mhmm i had to go to the ortho. to cop me a new retainer because my dad dropped mine down the drain. sweet, huh? thenn i came home and got readyy to go to my aunts. i went shopping in trumbull today and nearly splooged myself. it's official .. the trumbull mall consists of the most gorgeous guys connecticut has to offer. period. i <3 the single life. =o]. my aunt bought me some really nicee clothess and jewelry and i lovee it except i dont get it till christmas and my birthdayy .. which  kind of saddens me. as of this moment i'm bored out of my mind so im gonna go in the shower. i seriously can not wait for this weekenddd ;; i need to get my party on. lol. peacee <3 "I don't like a guy that exaggerates. I can't listen to your story when you exaggerate and here's why. 'Cause when you tell me a story I really listen, I don't just listen, I listen .. I don't just hear you, I hear you. So when you start telling me the story, what happens to me is my brain is so fantasticle that when you start to exaggerate, I don't follow the story, I follow the exaggeration, and it gets me frustratred, 'cause you'll be like "Oh my God, there was a fire down the street from my house and there was like 1,000 firefighters ou t there!!" .. No there was not! That's way too many firefighters. They'd all be out there bumping into each other "What the fuck are we doing out here guys, there is like 1,000 of us, who called 1,000 of us?! Is anyone on the hoses?! I believe there is 1,000 of us if I were to guesstimate!" .. Or "I got home from work today and I took like a 100 hour nap!" .. No you did not! You'd be very sick if you were taking 100 hour naps, that's a coma! Say you took a coma after work and I could follow the story." --»» DANE COOK<333 i love him so much. =o] our glance becomes a stare. _ the tension between us is more  than  i  can  bear   ..           ..  you can not keep           [p r e t e n d i n g] i mean nothing to you -- nicky <3

(Pride is forever) & right there ;; for a moment , i forgot that you dont love me anymore »» tim mcgraw [14 Nov 2005|04:55pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | the spill canvas // all hail the heartbreaker ] mhmm yeah today was easy like whoa. i had three study halls which is three more then i usually have so i was deffinatly wearing my excited pants. nothing really spectactular happened. i was pretty much verbally abused and am now im a very fragile mental state due to cum-guzzling danielle librandi and testicle-chomper amber gates. blahhhh double fist? power to the freeworld? ewwwwwww. yeahh you gotta love your friends though .. no matter how beastly things get. <3 anthony molested me today every time i saw him .. it made me giggle. harry potter in 4 days!! i seriously cannot wait. i want it to be the weekend soooo bad because this weekend is gonna be AMAZiNG LiKE BOOM!  --»» [5p4ecws] yeahh thats what's up ladies ;o] somehow i need to come up with $19.00 by thursday because i never pay for anything ;; and im broke = gayness. whatever. i'm kind of frustrated, but i don't know what i'm frustrated about. its one of those feelings i guess, where you know something is gonna happen .. or you want something to happen soo badly .. but you don't know what it is. mark my words -- something big is gonna go down. we'll just have to wait and see. report cards came out today .. which signifies the end of my exsistance. just so everyone knows how pathetic i am at school .. i'll put it simply .. aj motherfucking choromanski has an extremely higher gpa than me. if thats not sad , idk what is. roar , i suck at life. P.S.- i hate boys. but i love lindsay ellam <3 she knows exactly what im going through. i hate the fact that life can be soo uncomprehensible sometimes. people are stupid, if you love someone .. then you NEED to be with them. i dont believe in "taking breaks" or saying shit is too complicated to be together. theres no such thing. when your in love , when your REALLY in love .. none of that matters. & its the overcoming of obstacles that makes life and love worthwhile. teenage romance can suck a nut. end of story. time for hot coco .. peace .. xox. anyway, i saw this widow and she's a wreck. she has just lost the person she loved the most in this world .. and i realized that at some point, we're all gonna lose the people we love. that's how it is --» but not me. _______not now. because the person i love the most is standing right here and i'm not ready to lose you yet.                                   -- wedding crashers <3 -- nicky <<33

(Pride is forever) nothing that's [worthwhile] is EVER easy [13 Nov 2005|12:15pm] [ mood | pleased ] [ music | a goofy movie sountrack // eye to eye <3 ] soo yes, last night was pretty decent. i went to christines with danielle, amber, sara, dana and ben. we chilled at her house for a while and then got hungry so we went to subway after the boys left. we saw tom there .. and he has gorgous eyes. everyone got food .. except me because im broke ;; but it's alrite cause i most deff. picked off of everyones food. anyways .. we decide to go to pilot to meet up with everyone so of course .. being the ultimate prisses that we are .. me & amber immediatly run to the bathroom to fix ourselves while sara christine and danielle went outside. can i just mention how amazing they are. hehe, yeahh thats right thoseee are my girls<3 soo anyway , gary came to get all of us and brough us to pilolt where we met up with dana, ben, zak, jay , steve, steve's girlfriend, chris & some other girls that we didn't know in an extremely pimp car. we hung out there forever pretty much and saw cassie, dan , pat, charlie, alex, geri , tish , and amy. they're animals<3 so after that we all went into different cars and drove down to woodmont & had a grand old time down there. =o]. stupid amber gates lost her shoes .. & then made everyone look for them cause she flung them off while she was swinging. what a bitch , right? mhmm i wouldnt have her any other way. after a while me, amber, dana, ben, chris, and steve all went back to christines house and hung out. after i came home i talked to will on the fone till like three cause i couldn't sleep. by the way - happy 16th patrick doyle. soo yeahh today i woke up and was beyond tired but managed to pull myself together in 20 minutes for church [shower included] .. amazing, i know. after that i went to the gym and it was incredible. so im at the gym working out and what not and this asian lady comes up to the eliptical next to me and starts talking to me about my hair. she's like "wow your very pretty and i love your hair how do you get it to curl like that?" so im like .. uhh its natural? and then she asked what my nationality was .. normally i would be a little sketched out but oman she was adorable .. she was like 50 and soo tiny and obviously an exersise maniac .. but yeahh so i'm like well im pretty much full italian but i have a little bit of mongolian in me [ yeah i was saying that to be an asshole, but its true. ] and she starts getting all excited and telling me about how she married a man from mongolia  .. haha it was actually quite amusing. she tryed to tell me she knew jackie chan .. and i was like PUH! you dont know jackie chan, liar. so she goes i'll prove it to you and she fucking gets up and starts doing like karate moves and shit .. and then shes like .. jackie taught me that. i was like .. sweet. lol so next time she talks to him  .. i told her to shout me a holler. haha it was great. yeah so after my escapade at the gym my william came over. i felt like such an asshole because he decided not to call like he was supposed to when he got to my house .. so im in my basement blasting songs from the goofy movie [as everyone knows im absolutly obsessed with that movie] and singing along and dancing like no one's buisness and he walks in. he loved it though ;o] we went to the mall because he just had to get his abercrombie shirt that he finally had money for. he's a fucking queer. anyways we drove back to his house and i finally got to meet his mother. i think im in love with her. we clicked immediatly because she's italian and short and round and i just wnated to squeeze the bajeezus out of her. she made this amazing rigatoni so of course i had to have some. aww she was incredible & she told me i was gorgous .. so i was like .. yeah im yours. compliments make my tummy flutter. anyways .. we came back to my house and cuddled for a little bit. then he had to leave and go to work which actually saddned me. sooo i was stuck raking leaves for god knows how long. its alrite cause im in a really good mood. i think im gonna go paint my nailss .. update later perhaps? mhmmm .. peacee .. xox <3 we can stay up all night getting drunk in love <3 & watch sunsets on your porch -- nicky <3

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